Losing myself to find myself – a confessional

back on the mat - a leave of absense

Dear wordpress…I have a confession….it’s been 75 days since my last post….

Wow, how did that happen? I haven’t sat down and written a blog post in forever. I didn’t necessarily not have the time, I believe you can always find time for the things you love…it’s just I didn’t feel motivated to, I had literally nothing to say!

I lost myself for a while back there, and I’m only just finding my way back now. Those of you who know me, or follow the blog, will know that I have returned to the UK to try to stay grounded and rooted to one place for a while. I love love love the travelling yogi life, but I felt like I wanted to be home, spend time with friends and family and feel connected again. I forgot HOW HARD it is to live in this country! Props to those of you who have been doing it forever…

I’ve been trying to work out just why, is it the cost of living? Is it the depressing unstable weather? Is it the work life balance? Or is it that as Brits we just like to grumble???

I know that for me it was finding a work/life balance that was the struggle, I landed back in the UK and immediately got a job, which although I enjoyed, had super long hours and I just felt too tired to do ANYTHING, yes, even my practice, at any time I wasn’t working. I lost my diet (being too tired to cook after work), my practice of yoga and meditation declined (I literally had to force myself onto the mat 3/4 times a week rather than my steady 6 day a week practice)

I felt inclined to write about this as I wonder how many people live like this all the time? Just working to pay the bills – or working so hard you’ve got no time to enjoy your hard-earned cash?

So, my answer to this was to cut my hours and start teaching, and practicing again. Yes, I’m going to be broke, but each day I will remind myself that being rich isn’t material anyway. I have already made plans to catch up with friends and family, do some classes and workshops and also start to build my own classes back up.

On a positive note, my body has fully healed now from its injuries, and so I am now able to practice full primary series again, and will be making time to meditate everyday so I don’t lose myself again. I’ve realised just how important that the practice of mediation has become to me as I have made some questionable, erratic, decisions in this time of transition!

So, by way of confessional I bash out this post with haste – and hope that, for those of you who follow or subscribe it acts as an apology for my leave of absence!

I’m hopefully back now to spread the love and light of positive thinking and other inane banter with you all – if you’ll have me!

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